Always Remembered: Ben Hedberg 10/3/89 - 3/14/08
Huge Jedidiah fan, Huge Smile, Huge Heart! We were fortunate to have someone wearing our clothes that believed in the mission behind it. Helping those less fortunate, making a difference, loving big! Thank you Ben. Here is a message from Ben's dear family.
ben. loved without knowing how, or when, or from where. loved straightforwardly, without complexities or pride. ben loved because he knew no other way. he cared so much and cared so deeply because he could pass no judgment. he felt deeply in light of an innate understanding for pain and desire to be accepted. We search, as ben’s mom, dad, and sister, continuously and daily.
We search, and our feeble attempts at understanding find us in places of even greater magnitude than before. and life continues to surround us on all sides until breathing becomes a challenge; our chests weak from carrying upon them the ultimate sadness and heavy air of death. What is unknown in our minds remains unknown. And it is in these moments of reality that we miss him the most. now more than ever we miss Ben. We feel that were he here, his intricate and brilliant mind could easily guide us through these challenging unknowns. For, from the day words came to his little mouth, everything was questioned. Each day the questions became more challenging and from the beginning all the way until the end Ben challenged all of those around him to think. To think about things in the world and how they work, to think about things not of this world; to think about why.
We consider ourselves the luckiest 3 people on the face of the earth as we were blessed by God to get to spend 18 years not only listening to arguably the best laugh in the history of laughs, but for being loved unconditionally and cared for everyday, no matter what, by Ben. Smile. One of the last full sentences that came from Ben's mouth was, not surprisingly a question. He asked us, "How many people in the world are smiling right now?"
So smile for Ben. and in doing so spread his love. The straightforward love that came without complexities or pride. his love was such that we can only hope to achieve it but we will strive every waking day to do so because we are here and we get to. we can finish for Ben and smile.
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Comments:
bennifer
posted 09:20PM, 04/26/08, by andrew schlegel
i don't understand death . . . sometimes i don't really understand this life either.
i don't understand why young people die before their time seems up.
i don't understand how i keep breathing while some just stop. its not like i ask to keep breathing. it happens without my control. i didn't ask for admittance to this existence, but alas it was granted.
i don't understand separation from loved ones. i don't understand how God is love when so much wrong exists . . . so much loss . . . grief . . . sorrow . . . i don't understand why tears flow. but it feels good when they do.
i don't understand human connection . . . but i sure can feel it when its gone.
i don't understand passion . . . but i know i have it.
i don't understand music . . . but listening to it somehow changes me.
i don't understand electricity . . . but i love using it.
i don't understand how the sun works . . . but it feels good.
i don't understand love . . . but i constantly desire to experience it.
i often don't understand why i hurt so much . . . but i know i would love to be healed.
i want to have hope. i want to believe love changes everything. i want to belong. i want to dream. i want to see only redemption and possibility. i want to believe in a God who is good.
but sometimes i have trouble seeing anything when it all blends together. sometimes i can't help but see the cycle spin on without the beautiful qualities.
i hope for a day when sorrow ceases. i hope for a time when death is no more. i hope for a moment when tears and pain no longer exist.
i hope for a day when there are only smiles.
you will always be loved ben . . .
